Cowboys are the best type of human ever. In a study, surveys said that 90% of men said that cowboys are cool. 10% said that cowboys stink. In an unrelated study, 90% of men are normal and 10% of men are doofus retards. Do the math.
Cowboys are cool guys who have a horse and like shooting bad people called hooligans. They also wear hats and boots and the strong ones have beards.
Cowboy movies and stuff are cool. I like Brokeback Mountain and RDR and stuff.
People like writing about cowboys because of how fucking cool they are. Here are the TOP FIVE THREE best cowboys ever and why they are the best.
JOHN MARSTON is the best cowboy in my humble bumble opinion. He's got all the cowboy necessities. Cool scar? Check. Hat? Check. Rough backstory? Checkaroonie. I ahhhhhbsolutley love him. Plus, he's hawt. Who doesn't love cool hot cowboys?
JACK TWIST is the second best cowboy because he's cool and I like his jacket. His horse is pretty neat too I think.
REVOLVER OCELOT is a cowboy I think and he gets number three because my boyfriend said he was a cowboy and my boyfriend really likes Metal Gear so I'm gonna put Revolver Ocelot here. He's pretty good at doing that gun spinny thing I think.
Humans aren't the only species smart enough to be cowboys. There's alien cowboys, mermaid cowboys, ghost cowboys, robot cowboys, wizard cowboys, and ninja cowboys. All of them are equal because the only thing that matters is cowboyage.
ALIEN COWBOYS are pretty cool because they have little ray guns instead of pistols. They're fancy colours and they like have really awesome clothes because of their alien tech. Like, woah. Unfortunately they usually speak in some crazy ass glibble gorgle language which makes it hard for them to find love.
MERMAID COWBOYS are neat cuz they're underwater and stuff. They have seahorses instead of horses which is aweeeesoooooome!! But since they're like fish people they can't be in the desert. Because it's all sandy. Unless they all got together in a little oasis but that's super small for a lot of mercowfolk.
GHOST COWBOYS are spooky ooooh! Sometimes they're dead cowboys and other times they're dead guys who became cowboys after they die. Both are valid. Ghosts typically become cowboys after like 50 years because they get bored. So... yeah. Since they're dead and shit they don't give it their all so fuck them for that.
ROBOT COWBOYS ahaha BLEEP BLOOP!! Robot cowboys have super badass tenchnofantasy weapons and they have suuuuuuuper sick aim. They're all like PEW PEW KABOOM WAHHH because they're steel warriors of badassery. However... They can not drink moonshine and whiskey because they're a robot. So if you meet one and offer them a fancy cowboy drink they'll be a wuss and chicken out.
NINJA COWBOYS are super OP since not only do they have ninja stealth, but also cowboy intimidation. If you see a ninja cowboy, you're, like, cooked, brah. I think ninjas are kinda lame (sorry) but ninja cowboys are okay.